How to write a blurb that sells the first chapter

A blurb has one job: make the right reader want to start reading. It isn't a synopsis, it isn't a review of your own book, and it doesn't need to explain everything. It needs to get the right person to page one.

The basic structure is in Covers, blurbs and pricing basics. This guide goes further: rewrites, the traps, and what KDP's description box does and doesn't allow.

Start with the reader, not the plot

Before you write a word, answer two questions:

1. Who is this for? Not "everyone who likes a good story": the reader who'd pick this book off a shelf of twenty in its genre.
2. What do they want from it? A romance reader wants to know who the two people are and why they can't just be together. A thriller reader wants the threat and the clock. A fantasy reader wants the world and what's at stake in it.

Everything in the blurb should speak to that reader. Anything that doesn't can go.

The shape

1. A hook line that makes the genre and the tension clear.
2. Who, and what they want.
3. What goes wrong.
4. What it will cost them.
5. End on the question, not the answer.

KDP suggests keeping a description to about 150 words, with an opening sentence that grabs attention and a genre that's clear. That's short. It's meant to be.

Two rewrites

These are made up, to show the shape.

Before (a synopsis):

In the city of Veyra, Mara is a pickpocket who works the market square. One day she steals a letter from a councilman, and it turns out to contain a drawing of the great clock. She meets a clockmaker's apprentice named Tomas, and together they discover that the clock is connected to a conspiracy involving the council. As they investigate, they face many dangers and learn to trust each other.

It tells us what happens, in order, and gives no reason to care. "Many dangers" and "learn to trust each other" could be any book.

After:

The great clock of Veyra has struck twelve for forty years. Tonight it struck thirteen.

Mara steals for a living, and she's good at it. But the letter she lifts from a councilman's coat isn't worth money. It's a drawing of the clock, and three words: it is waking.

Now the council wants the letter back, and they don't care what happens to the thief who took it. To stay alive, Mara needs the one person in Veyra who understands the clock: a clockmaker's apprentice who has every reason to turn her in.

The hook is a single strange fact. The stakes are specific. It ends with a problem, not a resolution.

Before (a list of feelings):

A heartwarming, emotional journey about love, loss and second chances that will make you laugh and cry.

Every word is a claim, and none of it is story: there's nothing for a reader to picture.

After:

She came home to sell the house. He came to buy it, and tear it down.

One line, and a romance reader knows exactly what they're getting.

Traps

• Too many names. Two characters, maybe three. Every extra name costs a reader's attention.
• World-building up front. Readers need a person to follow before they care about the history of the kingdom.
• Rhetorical questions stacked up. "Will she find the truth? Can she trust him? What is the secret?" One question, at the end, is plenty.
• Telling the reader how to feel. "Heart-pounding", "unputdownable": let the stakes do it.
• Revealing the ending. KDP doesn't allow spoilers in the description anyway.

KDP's rules for the description

KDP's help page on book descriptions sets these limits:

• Length: up to 4,000 characters, and the count includes any HTML. KDP's example: "test" is 4 characters, but in bold it's 11, because the <b></b> tags count.
• Not allowed: contact details (phone, address, email, website links); reviews, quotes or testimonials; requests for customer reviews; time-sensitive promotions; availability, price or other ways to order; spoilers; emojis; and keywords or book tags.

One rule worth knowing: the description isn't the place for "'A triumph!' — a reviewer". Put praise elsewhere, and keep the description for the story.

Let the first chapter finish the job

A blurb gets a reader to try the book. The first chapter decides whether they buy it. On Bervet your book's page carries the blurb, and readers can go straight into chapter 1 free. You see how many finish it, and where the ones who stop leave off, so you know whether it's the blurb or the opening that needs work. List your book.

Sources

• https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G201189630 (Write a Book Description)